Compilation

Forgetting another good one

never not thinking about Poison Jr

they would NOT fucking have communication skills that good

This had me laughing harder than it should have.

Peach blossom, lotus flower, and ranunculus commish

Babe, is everything okay? You've barely touched your Castlevania: Symphony of the Night stove

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

Transcendent comedy

[Alt text: Twitter post reading "I'm at yo BM crib throwin M&M's at yo kid head full speed."]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

th3_s3nsitiv3_snack3r: just burst into tears after learning my preferred brand of onion dip would no longer be sold (╥ _ ╥)... but later felt true, human joy when i tasted the newest flavor sour of gummy bears (,,> ᴗ <,,) just another day in the life of me, the sensitive snacker